Improving Your Sex After 30

You may be surprised to know that although sex may seem like an obstacle as you near age 40, humans need and benefit from more stimulation and satisfaction at this age. Rather than trying to accept your age and let your sex life decline in pleasure, there are many measures you can take to restoring that magic in the bedroom.

Perimenopause and Menopause

Menopause is the permanent cessation of a woman’s menstruation cycle, where most women become completely infertile between the ages of 40 and 50. Perimenopause is the process describing the years leading up to menopause, a stage where many women find themselves in their early to mid-30’s. It often goes unnoticed well into their 40’s, despite being completely treatable in the early stages.

Trouble sleeping, low libido, and especially hot-flashes are the most common symptoms attributed to perimenopause. Hot-flashes during this stage can be very startling and distracting, and they can even wake you up in the middle of the night. Many experts have found that yoga and regular exercise can reduce this inconvenience dramatically. By stretching out your body and developing a breath rhythm, the right energy gets drawn in and the bad energy gets expelled out.

You may be aware of the fact that once you’re through with menopause, your ovaries are no longer active and you’ll no longer be able to conceive a child. Any attempts at becoming pregnant are highly recommended before age 40 to prevent any devastating occurrences. There have been some rare cases, but for the most part women aren’t expected to be mommies at this stage of their lives.

The average woman during this time may also develop some emotional struggles, often becoming moody or insecure at seemingly random times. This is normal, but should also be regulated. Physical exercise is a great way to squash any stress you may have, as well as yoga and meditation. Many women also make the mistake of thinking they need medication to help with their ailment, when really they should be talking to a therapist or professional who can tap into their emotions and figure out what’s going on.

Lubrication

As the hormones decrease in your body, your natural, vaginal lubrication may decrease as well, making it painful or even impossible to have sex. The convenience of lubrication should not be overlooked during these stages of your life.

Look for water or silicone-based lubricants that will make it possible to achieve penetration without harming you or causing infections (stay away from anything flavored or funky-looking.) These lubes will make your experience not only possible but more pleasant, and they all too often tend to train your vaginal walls to arouse easier.

Estrogen is a dominant female hormone, and your estrogen level decreases dramatically as you get older. If you’re still having trouble with dryness, try having your doctor prescribe either estrogen cream or estrogen pills to gradually return natural moisture to the vagina.

A Little Extra Goes a Long Way

Another common problem that often arises around this stage is a blatant loss of or decrease in your libido. You may view sex as undesirable and you may grow indifferent to wanting to instigate or participate in sex. The truth of the matter is that you body is changing, and what made you tick when you were younger doesn’t necessarily do the trick now.

The problem may lie in an issue of patience and understanding. If you typically spend ten or twenty minutes on foreplay, you might consider doubling that time. A woman’s skin can be just as sensitive as her clitoris, and it’s important to inform your man of this if he doesn’t know already. The more time you spend stimulating other parts of your body, the more you will want that vaginal stimulation which will in turn cause a deeper arousal and adequate vaginal moisture.

There’s no need to rush into things. The more anticipation you create, the easier it will be to throw your guard down and get down to business.

Couples Communication

You and your partner are going to need to talk to each other during this time of stunted motivation and hormonal decline. Many men are unaware of these female processes and need to be informed of their importance. Educate your man on the facets of menopause and let him know that this is a hard time for you. These discussions will eventually point you and your man towards exercising attributes about your sex routine that will most affectively arouse and excite you.

Some couples communicate better with a sex therapist than with themselves. It may be a good idea to leave it up to professionals to identify your problems and needs. A therapist can be a good medium as far as you and your partner understanding each other sexually and emotionally. They will bring things to the table that you or your man can’t, which will increase your chances of uprooting the problem and starting anew.

You are not a dried-up old woman. You will always have that fire but this is a time in your life where nature needs to run its course. Knowing this and the tools to deal with it will help you overcome the obstacles while still enabling you to enjoy a rewarding and positive sex life.